"At least I'm still alive", she thought to herself quietly. "At least I can still feel my body, feel the tremours within".
She brushed her hair from her face, straightened her back and stood up. "Why is it so hard then, to understand all this mess, this great ache that clings to my inner thoughts, keeping its firm grasp, never straying, always there", she grimaced with pain, her face no longer calm.
I was never happy, she said. Disappearing again.